{ a week }

tonight is a tough night. i am totally emotionally deflated. it has set in that we have one more week together as a family. ONE WEEK. just makes me sad. :( i don't know how i will manage without ryan and that hit me at bedtime tonight when will was being a very very strong willed (no pun intended) on not laying down. in the chaos of his hour long tantrum, reality set in and it sucked. i realized it wouldn't be long before i was doing this alone. by myself. and frankly, that freaks the crap out of me. tonight will said after he calmed down: "go, daddy. to iwak. on a airoplane." he gets it. and then he told ryan, "wanna cuddle you, daddy." seriously. my heart broke. at two years old he understands that daddy has to go work in iraq and won't be here, so he better get his snuggles in now. gggggahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i know i don't even have it that bad, and i know that thousands of moms have done this before me. but i'm still scared. because this is my family. and it hurts.

this next week will have a lot of ups and downs, highs and lows. i know that god will be holding my hand and at times holding me completely in his arms. and i am so thankful that i can be comforted by his love. and also thankful for technology and that we can still see/hear/talk to ryan when he's on the other side of the world. so thankful for that.

finding comfort in the lyrics of a favorite hymn:

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!


{ disneyland }

Ryan and I got to go to Anaheim for a marriage retreat...a trip for four days without the kids?! Yes.
(although we missed them the whole time and talked about how much they would have loved disneyland.)  :)

I love palm trees...but plam trees with holiday lights is just weird for a Nebraskan...beautiful but weird.


 Here we go! This was the first time either of us had been to a dineyland/world place. I was SO excited...Ryan was...well, not quite as excited.  :)

First we went to the California Adventure park which is right next to Disneyland and we were told had more things for adults rather than kids. Well we walked around for a long time...

 and walked some more...we actually didn't get to go on any rides on this morning. We were kind of bummed. Ummm, the lines for even dinky rides were like 90 minutes...really...90 minutes to ride something for maybe 5 minutes? No thanks. It was decided we'd come back in the evening when the lines were shorter.

We got to be there for the first night of the Holiday Parade! This was for sure my most favorite part. There was some serious Disney magic happening in that parade. And it was beautiful.  :)

These little snow men were like 4 feet tall....who was inside of them? They made me giggle. And Mickey...well he was so cute and I'm not gonna lie, I cried just a little bit when I saw him. All of my childhood dreams of seeing Mickey and getting that ooey gooey disney feeling were totally met.

Our first "ride." Watching some weird Michael Jackson video/movie from 1986 called Captain Eo in 3d. It was hilariously horrible. I couldn't stop laughing the whole time...partly because Michael Jackson fights off the evil queen by dancing and singing, and partly because Ryan's reaction to the whole thing was hilarious. This was the only thing we found that didn't have a line...and now we know why.

                                                                       it's a small world

You better belive I'm going to stand in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle and take a picture. It was breathtakingly beautiful. (another moment of me being lame 27year old stuck in my 8 year old girl mind and crying.)  :)

 Next ride: Nightmare Before Christmas...this was neat. It was like a haunted house. I've never seen this movie though, so I didn't quite understand the whole ride. But it was still fun.

 This little downtown area was also high on my list of favorites. Everything was decorated so well...it felt like we were in Europe or something.
I didn't even need the rides, just looking around at all the attractions was fun enough for me.

It was a great getaway. I wish I could have bottled up a little Disney magic and a dab of
southern California weather to bring back home with me. *sigh*