never say never.

i find myself saying that a lot. i'll never do this...i could never do that...i'll never live there. 

some of my best "i nevers" are probably the ones where god laughed and said, 

"oh, ye of little faith...trust me, child." 

my sassy 18 year old self had everything decided.

"i' could never go to school at unk. it's too small." 

and one year after going to unl and deciding it was too big i switched campuses and met 

the love of my life a month after school started. 

"i could never be married to an army guy."

well...obviously not true.

"i will never stay in nebraska..." 

we tried living in seattle for almost 2 years and look where we are now.  :)

and the best one yet: 

"i could never be pregnant while ryan is deployed, that could never ever happen." 

24 weeks into my third pregnancy and 6 months into ryan's deployment....ha!

i think it's beginning to sink in. 

as i was pondering about what ryan will do career wise when he gets home from iraq, 

i found myself again, making a list of i nevers. telling myself exactly what we will do and exactly what we/he could never do or where we could never live. 

and it kind of hit me...oh wait, that's totally not up to me. i can make as many choices as i want and they will ultimately lead me to whatever plan god already has in place for me and for our family. 

i've been leaning far too much on myself and not relying enough on god. 

i forget that He is the One who can bring me through anything and it's only because of Him that i will be well cared for. He's already got it all worked out. it's a humbling thing, man...giving up control.
now's as great a time as any...

i hate to say this scripture is overused...but it's message rings true and clear. 

and tonight these words are feeding my heart.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 

-jeremiah 29:11-13

it's a { ___! }

well time for that BIG announcement. 

third time around it was harder to decide if we were going to find out or not, but we did. :)

here's the story:

with ryan being gone i wasn't sure how to tell him or if we should just wait and be surprised when that baby's born. but with it not being 100% sure that he'll get here in time for the birth (he will get to come back for two weeks, but who knows!) we just decided to go ahead and find out now. 

and thank goodness my friend, devin (thanks devin!) had a great "reveal" idea. 

when i went to my ultrasound i came with a prepared sheet saying: it's a ____ ! then the ultrasound tech could just write it down and seal it into the envelope so that i wouldn't peek. the grand idea was to send it overseas to ryan so that he could open it when we were video chatting and we could find out at the same time. cute right?

but then maybe the envelope sat on the dashboard of our car for a week...whoops. 

so i opened it...with ryan on the computer. he didn't get to open it, but he saw it first. :) 

so without further ado: 

he has giant muscly legs already. the technician said so. 

he is going to be HUGE. again, another big boy.  

all of his measurements were 2-3 weeks ahead of what they should be. 

and my belly is big...

big, strong and healthy!

profile

3d image of his sweet little face...he looks like will. the technician said so. :)

these first sweet pictures of our son make me so excited (and a bit nervous) 

to have a third baby to love on.

and we do have a sweet name picked out. don't know if we are revealing that too or not...

i'll have to check with my superior.  :)

here's my bumpalicious belly at 20 weeks...(yes, only 20 weeks)

let's just hope he doesn't get all competitive with his older brother in there and try

 to grow bigger than 9lbs 9oz at birth. time will tell!  

they did move my due date from october 8th up to sept. 25th. 

but who knows...it's all up to you little man! :)

bubbles and {dirt}

bubbles are great...and will finally learned how to blow them himself.  :) 

anna grace loves watching her brother blow bubbles.

but she reeeallly likes playing in the dirt.

if anna could run, she would run into the dirt every time we are in the backyard. 

(why do you have a patch of dirt in your yard?...well it will be a garden. soon.) 

for now, it's anna banana's messy digging spot.

will has now dumped out the bubbles...and is using the bubble container for dirt 

(so he doesn't get his hands dirty...seriously.)

i didn't realize i captured this until i was uploading my pictures.

pile of dirt...right on top of anna's head.  :( 

oh wait, she liked it.

she started eating it...

is she not deliciously chunky? 

rolly polly arms.

oversized tummy.

love handles. 

delicious.

 she thinks the dirt is delicious, too.

my dirty bubble loving, dirt eating babies. i love them.

the carnival

will and i went on a little mommy/son date. to the carnival. in the mall parking lot...you know the creepy kind your parents didn't let you go to as a kid. yeah...well, we went to it. :)

growing up, my parents rarely took us to the carnival...and now i know why. 

they are 'spensive! not to mention the creepers who run the rides with the awesome facial tattoos...

anyways, will enjoyed it.

(and please enjoy my overly exposed photo...) ;)

okay, i lied. he did NOT enjoy this ride. at all. this was his first ever experience on any kind of ride. 

i thought it was harmless. will thought he was going to die. 

i didn't think to explain to him that sometimes you scream on rides because you're having fun.

poor little guy didn't get that memo. so the moment he heard the kids ahead of him screaming,

was when he started flipping out. :( he cried the whole time, probably because he thought something terrible was going to happen. so sad. 

  can you see his terrified little face? 

when the ride was over, i asked him what he thought and he said, "i scared mommy, but i did it!" 

good job, buddy.

next, was a will friendly train. oh boy, will was overjoyed when he saw this. 

and i was creeped out...look at that monkey...creepy.

he rode this train three times. he was livin' the dream, baby...

sidenote: who painted these train cars!? 

look at this picture...the lion is about to attack the poorly drawn african tribesman. 

creepy things you don't notice about carnivals until you're an adult. 

will really wanted to go on this...um. no.

the final toddler friendly ride he did was the car merri-go-round thing. he loved this.

wouldn't get off of it. but we ran out of tickets and i wasn't about to buy more, so i had do pretty much drag him out of there a huffin' and a puffin'. 

but the huffin' and puffin' stopped when he got to experience the ultimate carnival food...

man, that cotton candy was good, i don't know the last time i ate some.

but this was deeelicious. clearly, will thought so too.  :)

downtown

the sun finally came out. it's been typical spring weather around here...rainy and cloudy. the other day when the sun was out we took full advantage. we checked out the new library (which is really nice!) and every time we go to the library we end up watching a train or two roll by. mr. will and his trains. trains are his first love. so we hung around downtown for about an hour so will could watch "da choo choos."  :)

the range of emotions will has...in about one minute. :)

he got upset the train was over...so he pouted. 

and anna grace's emotions were sweet and typical anna.

will leading the way on an "avenjur." 

does anyone know what this spout is for? is it just a giant gutter drain? 

i love our little downtown. makes me glad we live in a small town again...a pregnant mom with two toddlers can walk down a clean alleyway with no worries. good stuff.