the hard stuff {deployments}

ryan has been gone since march 10th. it hasn't really been to difficult until now. because yesterday he flew to iraq...well they are still probably traveling there now. but it wasn't too hard having him gone...we could text freely, talk on the phone daily, video chat regularly, facebook...all that good stuff. but now that he's off U.S. soil, he doesn't have his phone, his internet usage won't be as constant, and the phone calls and video chats will be happening weekly.

i didn't realize he was leaving yesterday, i guess i was confused and thought his unit was leaving next week...not that it really matters. but yesterday it did. when i texted him and asked how his day was going, his response was: we're getting ready to go. uuughhhh, go? go where? i was so confused. i should have been weaning myself from the constant text/picture messaging because now i can't do that. and that sucks.

deployments are a part of military life...you have no choice but to go along with them, so you may as well make the best of it....what does that mean exactly? i have no idea. what "they" say to do is keep busy, stick to a routine, you know...basically become a human robot so that you don't have to deal with the emotions you're fighting on the inside. i'm not good at being a robot. especially a pregnant, hormonal robot. blahhhh.

i know i can't dwell on the fact that ryan's deployed because i'd go crazy if i did. keeping busy is easier said than done...same goes for a routine. we have kind of fallen off that horse, but we'll get back on. it does make the time go faster...

i love you, baby. and i'm so proud of you...let's time travel to 2012 so we can all be together again.  :)